parethante aatmavinu.....etha ee "greeshmam thanna kireedam"

Varoo pokam ennu vilicha mruthyuvinte karam grasichu "kaviyachan' yathrayayi..palakuri thanne kshanicha maranathe ekkuri nirashanakkathe..thirinju nokkathe nadannakannu...akshathilekku parakkunna pothinte pirake nadakkanamennum jeevithathilekku tirinju nokkaruthennum maranam avashyapetta kavi sreshtanu ethinappuram enthu cheyyanakum?
Thanoru muzhu kudiyanennu lokam ariyunnathil yathoru madiyum ellatha kavi.. jeevitham kavithayum utsavavumakkiya kavi....
veedillathoruvanodu  veedinnoru peridanum
makkalillathoruvanodu kuttikkoru peridanum
chollave nee kootukara
randumillathoruvante nenjile thee kanduvooo......

ethra arthavathanee vaikal...oru nadodiyayi.. arorumariyathe. orikkalum santhamakathe oru elam thennalayii... chilapol oru pemariyayi alanju thirinju...athe ee anathathum vilichariyikkunnu ee varikal.. ethra shramichittum ente mansil oru kunju novu unarthunnu.... ennirikkilum ee anthathuthilum angaye sanathanakkiya sohrudangalenne asooyapeduthunnu... athe aa oru sukruthamenkilum ee pavathinirikkatte alle?
  kavithayude pemariyayirunna kavi ennum jeevikkum ee  manasukalil...ee thiraku pidicha lokathinte thirakiloode  arum thirichariyathe namude pavum pravasi undakumm .. annu adeham arikil vannal keesha pothathirikuu ... chilapl keeshayum kadannu hrudayathilekkavum aa veekshanam...... 

My broken nest..

It takes not days but years or may be a lifetime to know some people.Some times you could be wrong when you say you know someone very  well.They might not be  what they seem to be.You know the person from childhood. you  have spent lots of fun time  together..you have laughed and cried together.. everything was perfect.. atleast you feel it was perfect...years later the contact gradually fades  away... you try to keep in touch  although the other person doesn't...you try your best...

You cant understand waht went wrong..you have done nothing wrong,, you are sure of that..you spend hours ,days, months and years trying to  figure it out .But you end up with nothing.. the question remains...

One day you  attempts to call  up that  person ,,, the same person who was part of your life... whom you treated as your own blood relation..the phone rings...it isn't picked..you try again.,the line is engaged for more than an hour..you dont give up..you are eager to talk to that person who meant so much to you..

Finally you are called back.And the person asks,"why did you call?Is there something urgent?"

You are hit from deep within.You find yourself thinking,"Can I call only if there is something urgent?"The feeling haunts you.The person continues"What is it? Why did you call?I'm not a person who has no work.I'm busy .,Why are you disturbing me?"Coldly the words drowns you.Tears well up you find yourself saying"sorry! I will take care never to disturb you again."You cut the call shocked,unable to move ,hurt ,,fully broken..

Once in a while,life brings your wayabsolutely unfair situations.There may be moments when some wrong has been done to you and all you can do is to bear it helplessly  not knowing what to do.May be tha maximum you can do is went it out by writing it in a piece of paper,..

This is life....sometimes good,,,sometimes devastating...

E.N.D.

 The END.How would you like to go to sleep at night and think we may not wake up.And that night we never told your parents you loved them /told your  partner how much you really care for them..what if you never said good bye to your beloved friends???????can you imagine that?????? OH my heart is beating faster in the bare thought of this...So smile your life isn't over ...it still remains..but there is no guarantee..

What is the meaning of life?How are we able to live a full ,meaning full life with loved ones only to loss them to death?Death has no certain age group.Death has no boundaries.It's apart of our life that we didn't like but it happens!Now this day and age you find every time you look someone is passing away.It's sad ..,but we can't stop it..We have to start appreciating every single day like it's our last day.We don't know when it's our time.Every one takes life for granted like we are guaranteed to wake up in the morning WE'RE NOT!

Let's take this time to be thankful for  each day that we wake up..let's say more i love us,let's say sorry,,let's not be angry,or upset with the ones that we  love.Let's just appreciate life and the people in our life.If you make the most of every second then your life will be perfect..Love your life..ENJOY each moment  in your life ...don't sit sad...avoid all sins ..regrets..and be happy always..be ready to die...Know you were born...And know you must  die..!!!!!!!!

My horrible bus journeys.!!!!

The contents of this blog are provided as an opinion, mostly personal, and for general discussion only. This blog is intended for personal use only.

when i was in college i never had a chance to travel in buses because all my study centres are very near to my home and now all the things are changed and today i had to wait long hours for the local buses in order reach my office on time what a tragedy?????

What is so important about a bus trip u may think...but experience it once and u will know for sure...

In kerala the front portion of the bus is for ladies and behind is for gents...the bus reaches the bus stop like a fully pregnant lady and u will feel the baby would just fall out now...people hanging on the foot board,,some hanging for their life ,some posing on one leg some how i push myself in and stand like a  cheese slice between 2 bread slices crushed..The ticket checker usually gets irritated when there is so much rush on the bus  and he starts grumbling .and i pretend i did not hear him and gave him the money..he grabs it from my hand and and pushes the ticket  into my hand..

It was an event that occured the other day that triggered my thoughts into writing this...As most of us who  have travelled in a public bus in kerala must know this for sure a very familiar problem and common one that a man harassing a girl in this case one old enough to be her grand dad! the people around were aware of what was going on but pretended  not to and looked the other way..and the girl was turning out there and she has not a little space there to move apart and i moved a little and  allowed her to stand in front of my seat...and she looked at me and i can see what was her eyes trying to tell me ....and i gave her a smile...

Now this set me thinking as to what gave these men(or shall i say monsters?)the right to behave this way?Don't they realise that this leaves a scar  deep inside that never heals?Whatever the reason is the truth is that women face this problem everywhere being pinched at on the bus ,fingered at by "heros"on cycles.,being subjected to gestures and comments... when is all this going to an end?I think ladies are not confident enough to raise  voice against these  sick guys .she is not confident enough to believe that the public will respond to her plea in such times of harassment.since some or many ladies don't act brave such incidents will occur again and again..such incidents should be shouted out.ladies must have to make a noise about it..only she can help her to get out of this . and i agree the fact that there are some brave ladies that react very spottily against this and  slashes the  monster and i felt very proud of it and here i gave a salute to all that ladies ..and one problem with that is if we show the slightest signs of fighting back we are termed aggressive and  unconventional... if we don't we are treated as dormats..! so what does the society which has much to say  otherwise suggest  we do?should they want us to wear suits of armour wherever  we go??????

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME..!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cheers for me!!!oh hey???? it's my BIRTH DAY!!!!i dont know what this day will bring... ... and on this day... i PROMISE TO BE MORE CAREFUL IN MY DECISION BUT NOT TO SPOIL ALL FOOLISH THINGS I WANNA DO WITH MY LIFE.......

until this time, im still acting like a child.. i cry when im hurt...im hiding when im in pain... people passed my way, they've hurt me, made me laugh and yet made me strong...i wanna thank them too...though they left wound inside me.... , I can't believe how fast time goes by. I can still remember being a teenager and thinking my life , lol. now , I am willing right now to go back to those times and have it made easy, not having to do anything other then going to school everyday, but I loved school so yeah no problem there. It's alot harder now having to worry about these horrible life..guess that is one big part of being an adult huh?! Enough with this being sad stuff lol, need to smile once in a while....I must be silly .....so happy for something so small and insignificant ... but i am happy that is what matters...There are times in our lives when we feel knocked down, unable to get up. Then what, do we do? We are infinite choice makers, no matter what the hurt. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional - The choice is simple - have the courage to rise again and respect for thy self to place one foot in front of the other..the path will unfold......

My life has been a journey and destiny that my God have given me...I was truly pleased and blessed, 'cause I've learned much...And I'm sure that each human got millions of mistakes...And the humans are designed to make mistakes in order to learn and get them over with...

Huh..I try my best at least..How about a different journey?Would it be fun...?I'll see...

Today will never be like yesterday.

My mind is going and I am not sure if the shadows are moving in around me. I am lost and going out of my mind. I looks in to the darkness and the shadow. I can hear my own heart beating in my ears. I feel like am really all alone. Even when I am surrounded by people...

there were times when one enjoys the company of solitude, the nest for thoughts...but the danger lies when one gets used to it...or even gets addicted to it.....

Do you ever feel emotionless toward your love ones? When two persons separate for so long, ones tends to feel distant and the chemistry bonds and feelings tend to slowly vanish. Sometimes you would wonder .. Do I still love this person? Separation is sometimes the major reason for people break up. No matter how hard you try, relationship never works when you don't see each other...

You're everything to me,
but nothing feels right anymore.

You ask me what's wrong;
I smile and answer, "Nothing."
And not let him know that it's actually everything.

I'm sad when we don't talk,
but I'm sad when we do too,
because it feels like you're in a different dimension,
than the one you used to be in.

You're everything to me,
that's why I'm scared to tell you everything,
because I'm probably going to be left with nothing.

I'm in love, I'm so in love with you,
but why do I keep feeling sorrow and loneliness,
not only when you're gone but even when you're here?

ON MY MIND..

I've been doing a lot of self examination lately. A lot of thinking. More than my usual amount.


I've been thinking about patterns in my life.
Why they are there.
How to break them.

I've been thinking about my place in my family, my place in my friendships, ..



My job. My purpose, my passions.

(I was thinking about cutting my nails just now, then I did.)


I've been thinking about thinking.

There has been so much swirling around my brain the past few months, I almost don't know how to sort it out, turn it off, or how to make it productive. But this is what I've come up with so far:

I need to cut myself some slack.







I need to stand up for myself more.

I am never going to tell myself again that I am too sensitive.

I am full of insecurities (but I'm working on it).





There are some pains that only I can heal.

There are some pains that only God can heal.

I am a different me in the summertime.

I need to give more people the benefit of the doubt.




I am incredibly flawed, and incredibly blessed.

I have a lot to learn.

(but I'm working on it)

ഓര്‍മ്മകുറിപ്പുകള്‍

ഇത് ഒരു മടങ്ങി വരവാണ്.. ഞാന്‍ മാത്രമുള്ള എന്റെ ലൊകതിലെക്കൂ.. .എന്റെ കൊച്ചു കൊച്ചു സ്വപ്നങ്ങളുമായി ..അക്ഷരങ്ങള്‍ കൂട്ട് നില്‍ക്കുന്ന ... നക്ഷത്രങ്ങള്‍ കാവല്‍ നില്‍ക്കുന്ന സുഖമുള്ള നോവുകലടങ്ങിയ എന്റെതായ ഒരു കൊച്ചു ലോകം...അവിടെ എന്റെ മനസിന്റെ അപ്ക്വുമായ കോലാഹലങ്ങള്‍ മാത്രമാവും മറ്റുള്ളവര്‍ക്ക് എങ്കിലും എന്റെ മനസിന്റെ ഊര്രു തെറ്റിയുള്ള ആ ഭ്രാന്ഥന്‍ ചിന്തകള്‍ ഞന്‍ എവടെ സൂക്ഷിക്കട്ടെ... ഇത് എന്റെ ഓര്മകള് മാത്രമാണ് ... അടുക്കും ചിട്ടയുമില്ലാതെ എന്നില്‍ ഞാന്‍ കത്ത് വെച്ച് നെഞ്ചോടു ചേര്‍ത്ത് തലോളിക്കുന്നവ ... സമയമോ aസന്ധ്രഭാമോ നോക്കാതെ എന്റെ മനസിനെ കടന്നാക്രമിച്ചു എന്നെ ശല്യപെടുതുന്നവ .. . എന്റെ മനസിന്റെ തെറ്റിക്കുന്ന ഓര്‍മ്മകള്‍ ... എന്നെങ്കിലും ഒരിക്കല്‍ ഈതെങ്കിലും കാരണത്താല്‍ ഞാന്‍ മറന്നു കളയുമോ എന്നാ ഭയം കൊണ്ട് മാത്രം ഞാന്‍ എവിടെ കുറിക്കുകയാണ്...


ഇതൊരു തിരിച്ചു വരവാണ് എനിക്ക് ennoo ഒരിക്കല്‍ ഞാന്‍ അറിയാതെ നഷ്ടപ്പെട്ട് പോയ ഒരു ലോകമം..ആ ലോകത്തെ തിരികെ പിടിക്കാനായി ഞാന്‍ എന്റെ തുരുമ്പിച്ച നാരായ മുനകള്‍ക്ക് മൂര്‍ച്ച കൂട്ടി മുറുകെ പിദിക്കുകയനൂ എന്റെ താളിയോലകള്‍ മിനുക്കി പോടീ തട്ടി എദുക്കുകയനൂ.. ഈ ഒര്മാകളെല്ലാം ഒരുനാള്‍ എന്റെ മനസിനെ നുള്ളി നോവിചിരുന്നവയകം ഒരിക്കല്‍ എന്റെ മനസിനെ സന്തോഷത്തില്‍ അല്യടിപ്പിച്ച്തുമാകം ... ഇന്ന് ഈ ഒര്മാകല്ക്കെരെ സുഗന്ധം ഈരും ..ഒരു പാണന്കിളി നീലാകാശം മുഴുകെ പരന്നു അലഞ്ഞു തിരികെ കൂട്ടിലേക്ക് വരുന്നത് പോലെ ഞാനും എന്റെ ഈ ഓര്‍മകളിലേക്കുള്ള മടക്ക യാത്രയില്‍ സുരക്ഷിതയകുന്നു ... കായും കണക്കുമില്ലാതെ ഈരേ സ്വപ്‌നങ്ങള്‍ കാണുകയും ,കാണുന്നതെല്ലാം കന്ന്നുമാടച്ചു വിശ്വസിക്കുകയും ,, ആ വിശ്വസങ്ങളിലെല്ലാം കുറെ ചോദ്യങ്ങള്‍ ചെയ്യുന്നൂഉ... ഒന്നും എഴുതുവാന്‍ അറിയാത്ത ഞാന്‍ എന്തിനു ഈ ശ്രമം നടത്ത്ഗുന്നു എന്ന് എനിക്കിപ്ല്‍ അറിയില്ല .. എന്തായാലും ഞന്‍ ഒരു കവിയല്ല .. ഒരു കഥാകൃത്തും അല്ല എന്കിലുമം എന്റെ മനസിന്റെ പോട്ടത്രനഗ്ല്‍ ഞന്‍ ഇഷ്ടപെടുന്നു അത് ഞന്‍ എവടെ പകര്തട്ടീ.... എന്റെ ഈ കുറിപ്പുകള്‍ നീ പരിഹസിക്കുമോ?അറിയില്ല enകിലും എന്റെ ജീവിതത്തിനു പുതിയ ഒരു സുഗന്ധം സമ്മാനിച്ച നിനക്കയീ ഞാനീ അക്ഷര കൂട്ടുകള്‍ സമര്‍പ്പിക്കുന്നു ...