.... Restless mind.....

when we play video games , there are times we get stuck  at one level without knowing how to go the next level.However things  get boring when  you are not sure what  happens next..,forget about how to reach there.

I am stuck in this phase of game what we call life.I have crossed many obstructions .. but now i feel stuck.I cannot see the next level.. and hence obviously  the way to reach there.Its sure that there is an another level for this game... Till I found it  I roam here and there....I just feel I am something which fills the vacuum in everyone's life ...,,nothing more...

Logically speaking you people may say that I get married and that is the next level in this game..but I am pretty sure that  its not the level that I want to jump to.. There has to be something else..

Have you ever seen a dream in which you miserably want something and you are moving away from it...or a dream a person you love going away from you??????what .. if it happens in life?? you want something with your full heart and letting it go away from your view...strange na????

Unexpected as always... few things never planned happened...few faces never imagined seen..

I never thought that I,ll   go on this much  with  my job... actually I don't know it till now whetherI liked my job or not//but its now almost becoming 1 yr since I joined there..I simply thought of leaving it  at one point of time.. but what to say ... now am here ...whether I want it or not.. I am here...!!!!!!!

I am scared....Because I know I can,t love this work and honestly saying I hate it sometimes.. this is not my future  and this is not where I wanna be...I have my dreams and plans for future..., they are different...But somehow I know till the time I am here..I will do it with my all   interest and  love...

I am not in a mood to arrange the word that I got in mind..I guess it was more like writing a diary..

Now not going  into the details of my love  for job &carrier , there is one more thing that I want to share with you all .. The interesting thing is that .. Recently I did an interview section for a local channel .. something what is another thing related to my work ... I must say  ..It was an amazing experience...and now am gonna  hide one more thing very brilliantly from you .. is that I don't  give you any details of the channel,,,,;-)

I was so much happy being a student.. don't know what happened ???? don't know why I am here??..This is not something I wanted...I can feel the suffocation inside...You know some days when I leave my work for home I feel crying..I carry so much of hurt inside..something like badly wounded..I feel like am in  a world of ppl where everybody is busy and just playing games with life .,n giving all  their deeds a name like love friendship,,bla bla....without any  sense of emotion ...May be am not liking anything nor I can cope up with it..that's why it's making me so negative... darkness and fear is all over my mind...I am angry with you GOD..!I never expected this from you..If you are punishing me for my sins then I guess you should stop now it's already too much!!!!!

Ooh.. my blog is now more towards negativity ..which I  don't wanna be...I can do well in life.. don't know why am wasting myself?... hm.. am going to finish this sad stuff here...Any how I  cant stop loving you God...And I am thankful to you for all the  good things you gave me... My  family.. My Mother...My friends

and of course many other things too.. But please help me out of these.... You know I am in trouble...

Note:;This is one of the most intense mood fluctuations... Nothing to worry... I will be fine soon...;-)